Love is the feeling of oneness. What erases the feeling of oneness is the distance we create in our minds on experiencing discomfort on emotional level. The discomfort could be from getting hurt due to a sense of loss or rejection or just experiencing things which are not aligned with our expectations or beliefs. When this happens, we are unable to accept the person who we hold responsible for our discomfort and we reject, dislike or even hate, thereby creating or increasing a sense of separation from this person to protect our fragile ego. It is our basic instinct to run away from all that hurts us in any way.
To love, we do not need to feel safe or appreciative or be in agreement with another person. Loving does not require agreement since agreement and disagreement are products of the logic. Loving also does not require appreciation, since appreciation is a product of our conditioning, judgement and often comparison. In fact appreciation can cause the loved one to fear rejection if they do not maintain the previously set high standards, unless the appreciation is accompanied by acceptance. Loving requires transcending the mind and an accepting and a compassionate heart which does not reject and create separation when our fragile ego is hurt. Love requires accepting people even if that means forgiving them for the discomfort or harm you think they might have caused you.
When we appreciate celebrities and swear our love for them, we are appreciating them without accepting them. When they do something that we do not like, we believe they have become unworthy of our love. But when we love our family members, especially our children, we accept them even if we do not always agree or appreciate who they are and what they do.
Understanding this can help you choose healthy relationships – friends and partners who accept and love you and whom you can accept and love too. If you can learn to accept and love unconditionally, it would become easy to resolve conflicts and to live with unresolved conflicts in relationships. In brief, learning to accept and love unconditionally can help you to love yourself and to expand your love to the whole world unconditionally.